Saturday, May 7, 2011

May 7, 2011

This morning I thought about some things. I realized I’ve been having bad luck in a certain thing. But I guess it’s because I’ve realized that nothing has been going my way recently. Learned new knowledge about something and to me it’s bad news. But I’ve got to be humble and encourage! And with God on my side, we will create our own luck! HAH! On the way back from praise practice, my iPod started playing One Thing by Hillsong United. Such a good song. But the chorus made me think about something. “Lord, Your name is higher than the heavens. Lord, Your name is higher than all created things. Higher than hope, higher than dreams.” We as humans want to achieve our dream goals. But most of us never really reach that goal. And since God’s name is higher than dreams then how can we reach Him if we can’t even touch our dreams? I know I’m taking this literally but this is something to think about. This reminds me how He’s so dang far away from us but at the same time He’s not that far. Is God something to reach and grasp at? Or is He something that is inherited? Man, sometimes I think about these things and feel so loved by God. Crazy. Makes me feel emotional. Lol.
On another note. Is love something achieved? Or is it something that is given? Freely? Or forcefully? Patiently? Or with a certain time limit as if it were a ticking time bomb that if you don’t make a move it just ends up blowing up in your face? Love is such a valuable thing. So fragile but once obtained so strong. As if it were multiple threads of a spider web. Or a string. After time it starts to wear then tear. And becomes fragile again. If you can’t tell by now, I’m a pretty sensitive guy. But as I grow, I learn things about trust. To trust becomes an ability not to worry about the other so often. To trust becomes an ability to respect the other. To trust becomes an ability to look and see what’s on the inside of the other’s heart. Hahahaha. I preach to often about this. How ironic how I preach this but all that happens is my partner loses faith in me and leaves. Sometimes I become so convicted on my word: “I will not break up with my girlfriend no matter what. So long as there is some alternate compromise.” Some people say that I’m being genuinely sweet, those whom I thank for the encouragement. However others think I’m being a complete idiot for making an immature promise. I thank you people for worrying about me but this is my decision. This morning, I thought about the longest period of time I’ve ever liked someone. I think it was 3-5 months before I moved on. This time I intend to break that record and stay true even if she doesn’t feel the same. I don’t care since apart from God she’s all I have to strive for. In VG terms. She’s the ultimate unlock-able item. Bad analogy in many ways, I know. But that’s how much she means to me even just as friends. I respect her. I pray that she understands that. “I’m willing to wait for you for 5 days or 5 years.” I know men are men and they don’t have the gall to wait for that long. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I intend to make it possible! So God bless me with You strength of mind and heart that I will not drift into temptation but rather into purity. In Jesus’ name I dearly pray. Amen.

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