May 28, 2011

Everything that has happened in my life, has happened for a reason. I believe that very much. Do I understand the reasoning? Most of the time; not really but some I do. I’m just glad that God didn’t bless me during my latest crush. Everyday, I realize more and more that she was definitely NOT that one for me. Now and then, I saw how her life has progressed and all I saw were the negative things. A bad influence. I remember the day I deemed her a “legit” person. Now, I take it all back. I’m currently trying to DGAF about women. Don’t get me wrong, lady friends are great. Just as long as I try not to pursue anything deeper than that. Unfortunately, every time I think about a “legit” person, one person stands out the most. In my mind, I still believe. In the other person’s, not so much. I regret but I guess I have to keep on trucking. I still think about that day that will probably never come true. But anything is possible through God (and as long as it’s not for self-glory). I should stop trying to make things happen with my own strength but instead learn to have faith and trust in God. Just like the sick woman in Mark 5.

On the bright side, I’ve been excited for the littlest and simplest of things lately. I guess it’s all because of God that I’ve been so energetic. Who knows? I’m excited to work soon. I’m excited to start or try to make music projects with Bryan Kang. I’m excited for VBS. I’m excited that I am finally learning to let go. God is good. God is so good.

P.S.
If I were allowed to wish for one thing in the world, whether or not if the wish is selfish, it would be that one person to truly (emotionally, physically, mentally) love someone with God’s approval and with our focus on God.

P.S.S.
I actually wrote this on a notebook since I didn’t have my laptop at the time. I didn’t want to forget about this. THANKS FOR READING!